BIPOLAROID CLUB: HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR BIPOLAR DISORDER

Welcome to Bipolaroid Club 

1. Social Issues

First rule of Bipolaroid Club is: “You do not talk to anyone about your bipolar disorder.”

Second rule of Bipolaroid Club is: “You DO NOT TALK to anyone about your bipolar disorder.”

Third rule: “Unless you consider your social life as already definitely ruined and want to push the process over, you never follow the current article writer’s example, i.e., you NEVER BLOG, even under a pseudonyme, about your bipolar disorder.”

If you do not follow those rules, keep in mind that the masses generally always count in binary mode (0; 1)* and that, thus, depending on your bipolar disorder’s past evolution and public exposure, you will be considered as ‘fine’ as long as you play dead (remain in depression), unless you try to suicide (which, let’s recall it, occur to 50% of bipolar disorder-diagnosed people at least once in their life) — and that, moreover, as a counterpoint, as soon as you will try to exit depression, act, and exist (especially — absolute danger — through social networks), you will be if not immediately at least quickly considered as manic for not saying totally sick. *(Referring to DSM IV, psychiatrists often suggest patients to auto-evaluate their mood level according to a scale ranging from –10 to +10, euthymia corresponding to 0).

2. Sentimental and sexual issues

Fourth rule of Bipolaroid Club is: “If you are part of the lycky ones already being in a relationship you can skip directly to the seventh rule.”

Fifth rule: “Whatever the method you use to find soul mate (for instance, Tinder), in case of success you do not talk about your bipolar disorder before, let’s say, the first child birth.”

Sixth rule: “If you are disillusioned by contemporary meeting sites and applications, you can choose among the following options: (1) chastity; (2) virtual reality (VR) sex on internet; (3) whatever your gender, escorts (in some countries like Switzerland, people suffering from deep psychic disorders can visit monthly an escort, paid by the State); (4) private psychiatric clinics which often turn into meeting and screw places).”

Seventh rule: “If you are a man and your chemical treatment block your libido and erections off, you never be afraid of using doping products like sildenafil (Viagra) or tadalafil (Cialis). If you are a woman, I apologise for my squalor ignorance in the domain of bipolar disorder-related women’s libido deficiency and for not having taken the time for doing the relevant researches in order to address the problem here — I just hope that, as the same as for men, doping solutions exist.”

3. Daily to long-term health issues

Eighth rule of Bipolaroid Club is: “You always take the medical treatment prescribed by your psychiatrist at the same hours every day, you do not use, even if it can be tempting in depressive phases, benzodiazepines in order to get stoned, and, in any way, even for libido purposes (see above), you never interrumpt the abovementioned medical treatment.”

Ninth rule: “You must show as much patience as you can since it may take years, decades, for not saying ages (you got me), before finding the appropriate medication allowing the stalilisation of your bipolar disorder.”

Tenth (a) rule (according to my first Chilean psychiatrist, who was an internationally recognised specialist in mood disorders): “You never drink alcohol (not even the bottom of a glass), you never drink coffee (not even a small cup); nevertheless, you are allowed to smoke weekly to daily small quantities of natural weed.”

Tenth (b) rule (according to most French psychiatrists): “You never smoke cannabis.”

Eleventh rule: “You always go to sleep before 10 PM, since the hours of sleep before midnight are the most important for recovery and stability when you suffer from any type of bipolar disorder.”

Twelth rule: “You always, each morning, before shower and breakfast, exercise indoor or outdoor between 15 and 30 minutes.”

Last rule: “At this point, you eat whatever you want, and, if you smoke or vape, you do not stop since nicotine may (according to word of mouth) have antidepressant properties and (according to some recent scientific researches) help people suffering from attention-deficit disorder related to bipolar disorder and/or corresponding medication.”

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