To My Goddesses

Your names are φ, Μμ, and σ. 

You belong to different landscapes of the contemporary music world. 

Although this conversation should be private, anyone can read and judge — I don’t care at all. I have bipolar disorder, alright, but does that remove me the right to believe in something higher? Would being a believer be a kind of delusion? Today, I feel like in a polytheistic church, hearing you, hearing your music from above. And we are alone, you plus me. And I run and run, and I pray. 

Running in music is the only real way — combined with (in my special case) necessary chemical treatment — I have found to balance my “disease”. I run because I love it, because every running trip is both a joy and a race against myself — and much more than that: a stairway towards faith. When I run I need feminine figures to adore (why Women? Maybe because my mother died a long time ago when I was only a teenager…); I need you peculiarly, I need to hear you, just as if you were along my road observing and cheering me on. And, when from the shuffle mode of my MP3 player emerge tracks like “Control”, “I Love You But I Love Me More”, or “Démodé”, I may be struggling along a strong slope or sweating all my body, the world collapse and I can touch the sky. You are the ones above all — there is not any other artist providing me what you provide me. 

Miles and miles I will run thinking about you. 

See you in this world or in the afterlife. 

V. 

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